I’m a writer, musician, and (unfortunately) day job schlub living in Baltimore with my wife, who is much smarter than me, and our two cats, one of which is as smart as me and the other of which is smarter than an oyster (but only just). I’ve been a farmhand, construction worker, soldier and Russian linguist, teacher, clerk, editor, and paralegal; I once played as a street musician in Heidelberg, Germany and was a guest with a German jazz orchestra at age 17. My first solo album, Hard Times, was recorded in 2003 in San Antonio.
Most of these things are much less impressive than they sound.
I like cooking, magical realism fiction, environmental issues, and theoretical astrophysics, and British comedies. I have no phone, and I don’t use a personal facebook account. That probably makes me sound stuffy. I used to use Twitter, but then I realized there were no real people on it. I drink single malt and beer that you can’t see through in very small amounts. I tend to learn a lot about something and then get bored with it.
I play in a folk rock band called Midway Fair, where I write songs and make guitar-related noises. Some people seem to think I’m pretty good at the guitar playing and have said things like “Patton’s guitar work … is impeccable, flowing through many different playing styles with the ease of a 50 year veteran.” So you might want to go listen to a few of our tunes if you’re into that sort of thing.
Recently, I took up building guitar effects, and you can see those under the Things I Make page. Sometimes I sell them, but I’m not very interested in turning it into anything beyond a hobby.
I can be contacted by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.